why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
