If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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