If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
