What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
