He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
