and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
