I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
