I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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