i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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