I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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