Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
