I must be too annoying 4 u.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
