Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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