I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
