i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
