Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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