I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
