Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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