god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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