We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
babies were throwing up all over the place
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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