Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
