its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
