Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
