Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
