Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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