fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize