The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
