Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
