Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
