check it out our google latitudes are spooning
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
