Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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