it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
