i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
