If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
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He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
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Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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