Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There are leaves in my underwear?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
