Cold hands, warm shart.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
