so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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