I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
