Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I supernannyed him into submission
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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