That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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