I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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