proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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