In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
