make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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