You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
