I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
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Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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