I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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