if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize