im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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