My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
