i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
