We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
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First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
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The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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