if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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