If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
