i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
