i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am mentally ready for anal.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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