Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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