I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
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I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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