He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
